Get Comfortable with Saying NO

Our lives are busy. Everyone has their own version of busy. Well guess what? Life never slows down! The older you get the more responsibility you have, the more humans you have to care for, the more you grow in your work and own development, life only speeds up right along with it. The past two years have been the busiest parts of my life but also the most fulfilling. Kids or no kids, I would like to share some insight on how my life has changed and how it has been for the better.

For me, once I had kids, I had to learn to get comfortable with saying no. I have always been a YES person and love new challenges. I love helping others and I love being involved. I have come to realize that I can not do it all. I have to pick and choose what I commit my time to. Not only does my family need me but I need them. I love every second I get to spend being a mom and time with my children is precious. I have had to say no. Say no to coffee dates, shopping trips, weekends away with the girls, drinks after work and much more. This isn’t just because I had children. This is because I set my priorities and I was clear with what is important to me in my life. I had to learn to feel good about saying no.

Over time I have felt guilt about telling someone no or missing out on something to say yes to something else. But as I write this now, I do not remember the things I said no to. I do however remember the things important to me that I said yes to. I still commit time to girls’ days, coffee dates, etc. but it must be a priority of mine and the time must line up with my schedule. I am not missing out on what is important to me because I said no and not missing out on my priorities for saying yes. It’s a balance between my time and what is important to me.

Whatever it is that you don’t feel good about and committing with a hard yes; it’s okay to walk away, it’s okay to say NO. Write down your priorities and commit to making sure those things come 1st. Make time for the extras in your life and say yes to things that make your heart happy.

Just Do The Thing!

You know when you are a kid and doing something scary and ask for a count down. You can almost guarantee an older sibling or friend who is assisting in this scary thing will do it before the countdown is over. Put this picture in your head. I am sitting on top of a tall tower scared to death to zip line but on the count of 5, I am going. 1, 2, ZIPPPP and I am pushed off the tower BEFORE I was expecting it. The outcome? I still went down the zip-line, I am still alive, and I actually had fun!

Often times in life we just need a little push- sometimes even before we are ready. This blog for instance. I write to share my feelings; it is my form of stress reliever for me. I started a blog back when I was pregnant with my 1st daughter. I picked it back up when I was on maternity leave with my second but I was too afraid to ever hit publish. It’s not ready, it’s not perfect, I am SURE there are typos (I hated English class), I am not perfect. Maybe no one will even read it? Then I remembered WHY I am doing this… for me… for a stress reliever… my place to gather my thoughts and put them on “paper.” Why should I care if it is perfect or if it is not ready? In the moment I needed that little push. A book I was reading talked about this exact thing and it was enough to give me the push I needed.

So sister or brother, just do the thing. Don’t worry about the perfect timing, perfect situation, perfect post; just do it! Remember your WHY behind what you are doing to ensure it aligns with your values. When you are doing the thing that is right for YOU; YOU will know and feel good with your decision.